My Word for 2020: Savor

savor (v): to enjoy food or an experience slowly, in order to appreciate it as much as possible

For the last few years, I have chosen a word (or words) to shape my focus for the 365 ahead. You can read about last year’s word, freedom, and find links to 2017 and 2018 on this post. Sometimes, the word I choose doesn’t make immediate sense to me, and the context plays out throughout the year. Other times, I feel like I have a moment of revelation, which happened to me in 2018, with my word abundance. It’s not any sort of hyper-spiritual practice or something I feel tied to doing forever, but I really enjoy goal setting, and I think of choosing a word as a mindset goal.

But first, let’s recap. In 2019, I chose the word freedom, which has meant a lot of different things to me over the course of the past months. I never had a singular moment where I felt the weight of this word, but rather, a lot of little moments. I focused on letting go of anxieties, whether those be relational, financial, or simply pressure I had put on myself, and allowing God to lead my steps. In doing so, I opened another Pure Barre studio, got pregnant, miscarried, got pregnant almost immediately afterward, and have spent the year becoming “ready” for parenthood. These shifts in business and life have caused me to invest in new places. I’ve had to let go of the reigns in certain areas of my work to prep for maternity leave, and I’ve had to dig deeper into my marriage and our Colorado life to build a home that we love.

And some days, I really failed at living in freedom. I refused to surrender control and spent weeks/months living in anxiety of what “could be”. I let little missteps and decisions feel giant, and I forgot to pray before acting out of my own volition. Choosing a word or mantra doesn’t mean it’s a perfect recipe, but it was a good one to center me on what was most important when I felt I was taking steps backward.

And enter 2020. I have chosen the word savor.

It’s weird to enter a year and know ahead of time that it will be life changing. Sometimes, years have a way of surprising you, but this is one I’ve been anticipating for at least, well, 38 weeks now. In a matter of days, Ross and I will be parents to a living, breathing, crying baby who is a combination of us both. While we are so incredibly excited, I also feel so strange. I’m lingering in this weird space without answers, and there is no way to predict who my child will be, what kind of parents we will be, and how this change will influence us on a daily basis. My prayer throughout pregnancy has been that I will remain joyful in our baby’s birth and newborn days, regardless of the birth story we are given. And when I look ahead to how I want to handle this year, I want to savor it.

I know that there will be moments of unimaginable joy and unimaginable stress. I’m sure we will question ourselves in parenthood, in marriage, in business, etc., because I’ve been through too many life changes to think that something this big can be taken lightly. But regardless of the 1,000 pieces of advice that I receive daily (usually unsolicited) from sharing pieces of my life on social media, my goal is to tune out the limiting and fear-based mindsets and lean into a season of savoring every second. I’m not going to get this time back, and the last thing I want is to waste my baby’s first year by getting caught up in stressors and goals that don’t serve us. I still have big business aspirations that I’ll be chasing, marriage goals, health resolutions, etc., but I believe that you can run forward without completely missing what’s already in front of you.

If you picked a word for 2020, I’d love for you to share it with me! I think it’s a beautiful thing to begin a new year with a fresh intention, and I pray you choose it well.