The Ache for Easy
It's April 16. It was 70 degrees outside yesterday. Today, I'm sitting in my box of an apartment, witnessing a blizzard take shape outside. My husband is sick and currently watching a strange documentary about people obsessed with grizzly bears, which is an excellent situation, considering I am the world's most dramatic hypochondriac. Needless to say, this weekend should be a blast. Thankfully, I have had the itch to break open a new book, and Restless: Because You were Made for More by Jennie Allen was on my kitchen counter. Now, I'm a sucker for a good story, but I definitely picked up the book with an attitude of discontentment this morning. Feeling stuck in my apartment, unable to get to my business, and unable to change the weather always puts me in a small state of panic. I hate feeling out of control and dealing with the pains of adulthood. Tax day (or week, if we're being honest) put me in a funk, and I've found myself dreaming of better (and sunnier) days.
I've always considered myself a dreamer when it comes to the future, but too often, I find myself dreaming of the past. When things get tough, I'll bury myself in the memory of a great vacation, wedding pictures, or snapshots of an "easier" time. I can quickly block out any remembrance of something that may have been difficult in that season, and I only remember the smiles I chose to share on social media. When the going gets tough, I too often look for a mental escape route. This morning, Jennie Allen woke me up with a little line:
But with the ache for "easy" comes a whisper of bigger things.
When circumstances are stressful, I don't want to live caught up in the past. Instead, I want to be the type of person who looks forward towards bigger things, who gets motivated by challenge, and who has the persistence to make a difference.
It sounds nice like a nice mantra, I know, but what's the big deal? There's nothing wrong with reminiscing. That might be true, but there is something wrong with wishing yourself out of the season you're in. Growing pains are tough, but they're worth it because they come with a whisper of bigger things. They mean we're changing. life is moving forward, and God is trying to teach us something.
The grass may be greener on the other side, but you still have to water it. You will have to tend to every season that you encounter, and we have a bad habit of only remembering the good parts. Circumstances may be out of your control, but your attitude is always up to you. The more we focus on where we are going and look to find the beauty in our growing pains, the less we will ache for the fantasy of "easy".