Waiting for Something Better
I'm a highly impatient person. Ever since I was little, if there was a vacation on the calendar or an exciting event coming up, I would literally burst at the seams counting down the days to bigger and better things. In turn, this quality also makes me a very anxious person if whatever I want is not on the horizon. If I feel like I can't plot or plan for whatever it is that I'm looking forward to, I feel unsatisfied without the promise of something new. When my studio first opened, it was difficult to be upset if I had an empty or small class size. In fact, I had little to no expectations of having full classes because we were brand new and opened during a holiday season. And yet, a few months into business, I found myself constantly whining to my husband and friends about certain times being too small or inconsistent. Now, many of those times have a consistent client base, but I still find myself wanting more. In some ways, it's a positive quality to seek growth for your business, but in other ways, it's a complete snub to my ability to practice thankfulness. In just a few short months, my need was filled, but rather than realize that truth, I often resort to being impatient for the next big milestone.
In our new Colorado church last Sunday, the speaker discussed the beauty of finding majesty in the mundane in regards to Mother's Day. She said that, as a mother, she used to have big goals and big dreams to change the world, and sometimes she becomes frustrated in the day to day of washing dishes and folding laundry. But, instead of living in a state of impatience, she has begun to ask God to make her fully aware of the task He has placed in her hand.
It's so easy to always be looking for the next best thing, but I think the biggest challenge is often embracing the current thing, with all of it's uncertainties and vague outcomes. There is a thrill that comes with change and a sense of complacency that settles in us when things feel static. My challenge as an impatient person is to learn to find joy in the stillness as much as the chaos and change, but that only can happen when we recognize the task at hand.