Stop Trying to Be Her
Becoming someone else isn’t your end goal.
When I was younger, I used to look up to women that I admired in business, performing, life (you name it), and I would begin to feel the pressure to become a certain way. I recently heard Julie Solomon say on a podcast, “Tell me what you’re envious of, and I’ll tell you what you should be doing.” Powerful, right? When we want something, we often don’t take the time to pinpoint what we actually want, so we start throwing darts at anything that sounds remotely close to our goal.
It’s super easy to do this, and social media makes the comparison game even more accessible. We find a relationship or career that looks appealing, and we think, “How can I model that?” Your captions begin to sound more like hers, your photos use a similar filter, and before you know it, you’re checking her feed on a daily basis. What she does is great, so she must be your path to greatness, too.
There’s a difference between being strategic and losing your own voice. Rachel Hollis says that success leaves a map of clues, and I believe that we should follow the clues of successful business women, moms, and leaders that we admire. However, if we buy into the lie that we must serve the same audience as the people we admire, we’re never going to find our own tribe.
That person you’re envious of? I can guarantee she has a laundry list of problems. I can also guarantee that she has worked hard to find her own voice amongst the crowd, which is why you’re listening. Learn from how she’s done it, rather than try to replicate what she is doing.
You have to stop trying to be her. She may have a bigger platform and be well known, but you have been equipped with just as much to offer the world. You can stay in your own lane and still watch the frontrunners.