Get Out of Your Head


There is a constant stream of conversation going on in my head at all times. It might be a laundry list of things to do or an analysis of the situation that's unfolding in front of me. Women have the ability to multitask like nobody's business, which is both a blessing and a curse. We can have one conversation out loud, while crafting an entirely different one just to ourselves. There's nothing wrong with this if the voice in our heads is in line with the person we want to be and the emotions we want to feel. However, if I'm being honest, the majority of my dialogue can be an inner critic: reminding me that I don't look very good today, she doesn't like me very much, or I'm not quite qualified to be here. When I'm teaching Pure Barre, I often say something along the lines of, "Get out of your head, get out of your comfort zone, and focus on what's going on right now." I think I latch onto that phrase because it's something I personally need to be reminded of. One of my biggest fears in life is missing out on the memories that I could be making if I wasn't struggling with anxiety on the inside.

Maybe your anxiety is about your job, where you spend 9 hours of your day, and it's not really want you want to do. You feel like a fraud selling something you aren't passionate about. Maybe you're stressed about going out with your friends because you know it's going to break your attempt to eat healthy this week. Do you miss the fun or give in; which one is "balance"? Or perhaps, you're trying to spend quality time with your significant other, and you're still hung up on something they didn't do to fulfill your unrealistic expectations. You want to be fully invested, but you're letting things boil up inside your head.

I have struggled and do struggle with all of these things. The voice in my head is like a constant reminder that I can't fool myself. It's my gut reaction, the feelings that I want to avoid, and the distractions that I'd rather live without. But, this is what I'm learning:

The voice in your head may be loud, but it also might be a lie.

Here's the way I sort through it. If the voice in my head is beating me up about a decision, maybe I need to take a deeper look at that decision. Do I need to apologize? Did I handle it the right way? But, once I have thoroughly analyzed it, it's time to let it go.  If I make a better decision in the future or change from a negative habit, the reprimand was worth it. It helped me see an error in my ways. But, if you're hearing negative self talk and doubt that does nothing but pull you into a black hole of insecurities, it's time to make the choice to get out of your head. Call a friend, open your Bible, make notes on your phone that remind you that insecurities aren't worth the missed opportunities.

It's great to understand your emotions and how you respond to situations, but you can understand why you feel a certain way without letting that feeling become your truth.

I think, too often, we expect to get to a place where we have everything figured out, and we'll stop hearing these lies altogether. We'll stop being tempted to react in a way that makes us embarrassed. Instead, we need to realize that growth comes from choosing to be different than your gut reaction. It comes from making the active decision to respond in a way that's patient and positive, instead of irritable and self-depracating.

Self doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.